Rest in peace. Long, useless, earth polluting, space wasting peace.


I was reading an article recently about the newest way to dispose of your body after death, liquification. The short end of the process is that your body is dissolved in a chemical bath till your nothing more then dirty martini equivalent of a person. This made me think about the crazy things that we request for our bodies after death. The idea that you want your body in the ground to take up space just because you want the world to remember you is dumb. Do not get me wrong I understand the need for the body to be present for a memorial service giving everyone one final chance to see and say goodbye. My issue is why are we still burying people at all?

Look at any cemetary and see rows & rows of wasted space. What good is your body doing in the ground? It is not its a waste of perfectly good land. If your loved ones want to remember you look at a photo not shlep out to some stinky cemetary and weep outside next to others. Lets also be honest how many people ever really go to their relatives grave sites? Yeah very few. So what the hell is the point of all of this other then to make ourselves feel important enough to devote a space of land to our rotting corpose?

I think we should do the planet a favor. Since we dramatically impact the earth in our life lets try to minimize it in death. Get cremated if you feel that you must be kept around for posterity. It takes up a fraction of the space of a dead body. Consider donating your body for scientific research. It may shock you to know that in 2011 there still is a need for cadaviers. From medical school to crash testing the need for bodies is great. Hell even consider plasticization and have your body displayed forever in nightmare enducing poses. At least then you can go to the grave feeling like you have contributed to the earth more then a stinky skeleton in a overpriced pine box (don't get me started on the idiocracy of caskets).

Disrespectfully yours,

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