Recently the Washington Post ran an article titled, “Is Florida Necessary,” a question by Stevie Wonder. We’re here to say, yes, Florida is not only necessary but essential to American life.
The WaPo article starts off addressing the recent verdict in the George Zimmerman trial and addressing Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law, which permits self-defense with deadly force.
The article then goes on to general complaints about Florida, including by John Oliver who said Florida is “the worst state.”
Then it summed up in a few paragraphs Florida’s outdated reputation as the land of retired people, lousy ice hockey, hanging chads, “Flor rida,” young boys laughing at the shape of the state, pointing out that no president has ever come from Florida, Spring Break
.Tampa strip clubs where you can attend “A Nude Odyssey” instead of a Space Odyssey over on the other coast, and highlights news articles such as “Florida Man Arrested For DUI On Lawnmower On Fourth Of July” and “Grease-Covered Florida Man Found Stuck In Store Window; Tells Deputies He Needs To Poop.”
It then attempts to conclude by saying there are backups to anything Floridian such as the University of Miami in Miami, FL or the University of Miami in Miami, Ohio, Disney World has Disney Land in Anaheim, CA. The author adds you can go to the “Holy Land Experience,” or you can go to the holy land in Israel.
Lastly, the author writes, “Most other states give you at least a logical choice among heat, humidity and the constant fear that you might get eaten by an alligator.
And then mocks Zimmerman by saying if you’re intelligent, you’ll buy a gun and wait for someone to threaten you so you can exact your knowledge of Florida’s self-defense laws
ALL THIS COMING FROM WASHINGTON, a capital city that can’t seem to get anything done, has some of the highest crime rates and drug use in the nation, an abundance of “secret service” vehicles driving around plainly evident, and was laid out by a French man named Pierre Charles L’Enfant.
It has a bar called the Dome which always referred to as the “dome” bar, and summer in DC is hot as well, but with stagnate humidity without and respite of a breeze, the traffic is beyond logical, and you may be better off riding a bike if you’re in a hurry.
The city of roughly 650,000 is like a step-child with Congress only giving the city limited self-rule in 1973 but retaining ultimate authority and veto over any city law or action. Nor does the district have any congressional representation, though, with the way Congress acts, that may not be so bad.
SO, IS FLORIDA REALLY NECESSARY?
Yes. Florida is vital to American life. It has the fourth largest GDP of any of the 50 states; if it were its own country, it would rank 19th in the world, making it still part of the all-important G20.
Comparing Disney World in Orlando to Disney Land in Anaheim is like comparing DC to Brasilia. All of Disney Land in California will fit into the Magic Kingdom’s parking lot in Florida. Disney World is 42 square miles, making it more massive than the state of Rhode Island.
Florida agriculture provides millions of Americans fruits and vegetables helping to keep your body full of essential nutrients. Florida is the largest producer of tomatoes in the nation, and everyone loves our oranges from around the state and strawberries from Plant City. Florida is also the nation’s second largest producer of beef and has one of the largest privately owned ranches in the government.
It’s true, Florida has an outsized portion of weird news, so does Germany Hence the “Florida or Germany” tags on Fark.com. But that’s what you’ve come to love about Florida, at least we can laugh at ourselves and our silliness and provide you with great jokes, so you don’t have to look at yourselves. But the reality is, greatness attracts all kinds of people. Its right for L.A., but you’ve stopped listening to their weird news.
However much you dislike or love our “Stand Your Ground” law, at least we get to make our laws by a consensus of those we elected to represent us, and we can repeal it if we so decide.
Unlike the district, which must get Congress’ approval, a congress they did not elect and mostly can’t come to an agreement on how long a red traffic light should be.
Unlike the elderly destination WAPO painted, Florida is a vibrant state with over 54 different languages spoken, an intense love of arts, culture and boasts the attention of gamers the world over, being the home of EA sports and Full Sail University, which hosts a large gaming school among other subjects.
And comparing the University of Miami, The Hurricanes, to a small po-dunk town in southern Ohio is more of a desperate act than rational logic. At our UofM, students can enjoy the comfortable year-round weather, allowing them to enjoy life and focus on their academic studies in arts and sciences, but at the one in Ohio where its ridiculously cold but without the benefits of massive mountains to at least go snowboarding well, do they even have electricity? We don’t have mountains either, but at least we have beaches, and beaches and beaches.
Florida also has some of the lowest property taxes in the nation, has a robust pro-small business environment, and has some of the largest universities in the country, the University of Central Florida is the nation’s second largest university and is in Orlando.
But wait, there’s more Florida is also home to sizeable medical research institutes, and is the theme park capital of the world with nine distinct and separate theme parks offering variety to meet nearly anyone else interest.
Its also the info-commercial capital, that being Tampa, where millions of viewers around the country find out about amazing products and get a last minute bonus deal. Laugh if you will, but its a multi-billion dollar industry employing a lot of people who are living pretty lovely in a state where the unemployment rate is lower than the national average.
Sure, a man in Orlando did show up naked at a house to deliver a pizza saying “God” told him to do it, but at least someone hasn’t forgotten about a supreme being.
–If you’d like to read the Washington Post’s original article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2013/07/16/stevie-wonder-has-a-point-is-florida-necessary/
To read other significant news stories by the Washington Post: http://www.washingtonpost.com